You are loved.
Whether or not you were raised in a loving home or a broken one, have a happy marriage or a failed relationship, have the best of friends or you’ve been hurt by those you held dear, these two things are true:
All of us have experienced some form of rejection.
All of us long to know and hear that we are loved.
Rejection is a tricky thing.
It hurts.
Yet, we try to convince ourselves that it doesn’t. We tell ourselves it doesn’t matter and that rejection has no impact on our lives.
But it does.
In the shadows of our hearts, rejection makes itself at home. It subtly colors our relationships and infects our confidence.
My first memory of rejection is of me, about 8-years-old, sitting alone on a sidewalk curb.
I was raised in a loving family with both of my parents in the home. My parents were very involved in the church we attended at the time and I was even involved in music at such a young age. I was surround by people who loved and championed me.
Still, rejection somehow found me.
It found me sitting outside in my neighborhood because the other little girls decided to play inside a friend’s home, knowing I couldn’t go in with them. They went in and played while I sat outside the house, waiting for them to come back outside.
It seems like such a little thing, but it was my first taste of rejection (that I can remember), and it impacted my little heart enough to stay with me.
Since then, I’ve experienced rejections in a much bigger way.
In research for her book, Uninvited, Lysa TerKeurst found that these two core fears feed a person’s sensitivity to rejection:
- The fear of being abandoned
- The fear of losing your identity
While I’ve never experience a fear of abandonment, I have faced the inner struggle of grasping at identity only to feel like it was slipping away.
When I feel rejected, I feel like someone doesn’t want me. They don’t accept who I am or value me.
I’ve experienced rejection of who I am, my identity.
That rejection has served to strengthen the voice of doubt in my mind and tear at my self-confidence. It makes the negative words and actions of others scream louder than the love that’s present all around me.
That’s how rejection works.
Words like, “You aren’t good enough,” and “I don’t like you,” have a greater impact on our lives, while “I love you,” and “You have a purpose,” are given little attention.
None of us can hide from rejection. And, if we’re not careful, rejection will shape our future.
There is a way, though, to keep it from taking root in our hearts and defining us as we move forward in life.
Recognize and accept that you are loved.
You are loved by your Creator, and that’s where your identity should be found.
If you spend any time in the Scriptures, you will find His everlasting love for you. His Word reminds us, over and over again, that He created you for a purpose and made you unique.
You, with your personality, talents, and quirks; He created, chose, called, and loved!
2 Timothy 1:9 reminds us that God “saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began…”
Now, simply reading these words is not enough to drive out rejection. You have to believe them, too!
You have to be honest with yourself, confront the hurts that are still defining you, and replace those lies with truth.
When the thoughts of doubt and worthlessness attempt to take hold, you have to push them away with the truth that you are loved, valued, and designed for His purpose!
You can be confident in the knowledge that He has a master plan, and you, with all your past mistakes and shortcomings, are a major part of it.
Make His words of love the loudest in your life!
Don’t let rejection define you.
Don’t let it keep you from being confident in what God has called you to do.
Replace the lies of rejection with the truth of how loved you really are.
You are loved!
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